Walking Through The Minefield Of Losses

A. PHYSICAL losses: 1. Loss of appetite. 2. Loss of mobility. 3. Loss of eye sight. 4. Loss of taste. 5. Loss of hearing. 6. Loss of a limb (leg, arm, hand, or foot). 7. Loss of appearance (beauty or handsomeness). 8. Loss of physical strength. 9. Loss of control of bodily functions. 10. Loss of hair. 11. Loss of ability to sleep. 12. Loss of comfort because of pain. 13. Loss of health in general.

B. MENTAL losses. 1. Loss of memory (both long term and short term memory). 2. Loss of the ability to focus or concentrate. 3. Loss of the ability to reason. 4. Loss of the ability to think clearly.

C. MATERIAL losses. 1. Loss of a car. 2. Loss of a home. 3. Loss of income. 4. Loss of a family estate.

D. RELATIONSHIPS losses. l. Loss of close friends or relatives that move away. 2. Loss of others through death (of parents, siblings, and children). 3. Loss through offenses. 4. Loss through family breakup or divorce.

E. IDENTITY losses. 1. There may be a loss of a job position. 2. A loss of public recognition. 3. Loss of authority. 4. Loss through personal failures or failures of others.

F. FREEDOM losses. 1. There may be a loss of certain freedoms with a change of a school or job. 2. Some people may get placed by their family into a nursing home or hospital care. 3. It is similar in some ways of being incarcerated in a prison. With this comes a sense of isolation and loneliness.

G. DISAPPOINTMENT losses. A disappointment means that we missed or feel we have missed an appointment. We may have dreamed and planned and expected something positive would happen, but it doesn't. We may sense a great loss.

H. PURPOSE losses. A loss of purpose is not being able to find a reason to be happy or to live. The truth is that all of us (both young and old), at one time or other will experience losses. I say this not to depress anyone, but rather to express a reality of life. "These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world" (John 16:33). Tribulation would include losses. The question is, "How can we face losses?

I. FEAR losses. Another major "LOSS" comes through "The Fear of Loss". The fear of loss will cause an individual to freeze in their tracks. A number of years ago, I took our middle daughter with me out turkey hunting. I didn't get any turkeys and hunted until it was almost dark. We had to walk back to our vehicle on an old rocky road which was somewhat covered with dry grass. I was dark enough that we could just make out the road. Suddenly, I hear the a rattling sound in the dry grass moving in front of us and to the side of the road. I FROZE IN MY TRACKS, but made sure that my daughter stayed behind me. I had my bow and arrow in my hand, but realized that I couldn't see in the dark to cock my bow and shoot a snake moving in the dark. Although I did not see the snake, I am reasonably sure that it was a rattle snake that we spooked.

We don't want to be like Job, "For the thing which I greatly feared is come upon me, and that which I was afraid of is come unto me" (Job 3:25). In contrast, David said, "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me" (Psalms 23:4).

A. We suffer the consequences of living in a fallen world.

B. We sometimes suffer because of the sins of others.

C. Sometimes we suffer because of our own sins.

D. The bodies of even Believers still age and deteriorate.

E. Although the spirit of Believers are made to be a new creation, the soul (mind, will, and emotions) still hold traumas from the past.

F. God still allows the devil to tempt us even as He did with Job, Jesus, and the New Testament Believers.

A. SHOCK is an overload of the mental and emotional processing. This is a normal reaction to such an overwhelming traumatic experience. The closer one is to the experience, the greater is the shock. We should realized that it take some time to process such experiences.

B. DISBELIEF is often a second response. Disbelief is similar to shock. Disbelief is the conflict of true facts with what we have previously believed to be true. For example, if we have firmly believed, for whatever reason, that terrorist could never penetrate a strong democratic nations such as America, we may not immediately accept the reality of the event which occurred on 09/11/2001.

C. DENIAL is a deliberate choice not to accept the truth. We shouldn't go there. It is an attempt to lie to yourself so that you don't feel so bad. There are always more lies that you need to cover the original one. Denial is a personal defense mechanism.

D. EMOTIONAL PAIN can well be expected in a trauma situation, either through direct contact or vicariously through our contact with other people who are hurting. Although I knew no one personally who lost their loved ones or their businesses through the attack on America, September 11, 2001, I have shed tears just seeing through that media those who have. Although we may currently feel the pain of loss, we should also realize that God desires to "supernaturally" bring healing to our wounds. Emotional wounds which are allowed to remain open are subject to the spirits of anger, bitterness, hate, and revenge to enter and take control of our lives.

E. FEAR is a normal reaction to a sudden loss or potential loss. Most of us have experienced to varying degrees of a sense of venerability to potential loss beyond the actual loss itself. Again, fear may be what we see as a normal response. However, we should not continue to live in fear! We need to, by God's grace overcome the fear or it will overcome us. I should caution that fears leads to confusion and to irrational thinking if it is allowed to stay over an extended period of time. We need to trust in God. David chose to trust God when he was afraid. "What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee" (Psalms 56:3).

F. ANGER is another natural emotion. Yes, even Christians get angry when they face the trauma of loss. Paul wrote, "Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath" (Ephesians 4:26). We should be careful not to allow anger to continue to stay in our hearts. We must learn to put it away and redirect the static emotional energy of anger into a constructive path. Furthermore, one problem with anger is that it is like a pebble which is thrown into a pond. The ripples go out into every direction and may produce much greater consequences than intended. Remember what happened when Moses struck the rock in anger. God did not allow him into the promise land.

G. BLAME usually goes the anger and looks for a target for the release of our anger. We may blame others, God, or ourselves for the traumatic experience. However, we should come to forgive both others and ourselves. We should remember that forgiveness is neither deserved or earned. Sometimes we may even lay the blame upon God. "WHY, God did you allow this to happen?" “Where were you God when this happened.” We may see God is being unfair and withdraw ourselves from fellowship with God.

H. UNFORGIVENESS will be a temptation that will come to all of us. We will be tempted to hold in judgment those who have hurt us. When anger and blame festers, unforgiveness comes with thoughts of trying to balance the scales. We may say, “They hurt me and I need to make them pay.” However, God said, "Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord" (Romans 12:19).

I. LONELINESS will be experienced by many who have lost family and friends through divorce or death. It may be unexpected, a shock, but also a reality. People have gone away or died and we come to experience a great loss. The experience is real although we wish it was not so. There may be temptations for us to use alcohol, drugs, sex, or work to ease the pain, but these things will not fully fill the void.

J. SADNESS is also a natural and expected emotion. It can move in like a rainy day that just seems to last forever. Paul said, “Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them who weep” (Romans 12:15). There is nothing wrong with shedding tears. Even Jesus wept. However there needs to also be a time when the weeping is over. There is a way to get beyond the sadness.

K. DEPRESSION may well set in if we get stuck in the midst of the tragedy. Depression is more than a rainy day. Depression is the dark threatening clouds of gloom and hopelessness that continue to linger over us. God does not want us to live with or cope with depression. He has provided a way out.

L. BITTERNESS often sets is when we continue to hold on to what we consider to our personal rights to have what we have loss. We look at life as being unfair and thus God as being unfair. Bitterness only grows deeper and larger over time. Moreover, bitterness not only effects us but also those around us like an infectious disease.

M. ANXIETY is often result of unresolved emotional trauma. Anxiety my be defined as a fear without a current direct threat of loss. Anxiety can cripple the freedom of an individual to work, have appropriate relationships, or to enjoy the life that God has provided.

Mourning is associated with grieving over our sense of loss. Isaiah wrote, "To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified"  (Isaiah 61:3).

The Scripture begins with the words, "To appoint." This means that it is established by God. The promise is directed toward those that mourn. Again, mourning is associated with grieving over a sense of loss. The promise is also limited to those in Zion. The name "Zion" means “holy place” and points to Jerusalem which means the city of peace. For Believers today, it is understood to be those in the kingdom of God.

The Scripture points to three associated resolutions. First, God's plan is to give them beauty for ashes. Ashes is a picture of that which has been burnt up, completely destroyed, or become worthless. However, God's plan is to replace the ashes with something beautiful and exquisite. Second, God is to replace their mourning with the oil of joy. Oil is the picture of that which is soothing and comforting. It is a healing oil. Of course, joy is the opposite of sadness. The third plan of God is to give to those that mourn, a garment of praise which is to cover their heaviness or depression.

The purpose behind God's established plan is so that those who once were in a state of mourning and depression would be called the trees of righteousness. The trees are a picture of LIFE. Those who have submitted their lives to Jesus as Lord have a new life in the kingdom of God. They are made righteous by God through their faith. However, God also wants them to be CALLED trees of righteousness.

Isaiah in this passage, declares that this is the planting of the LORD. It is God, Himself, that is accomplishing this. Why? This work is done in this manner so that God, Himself is to receive the GLORY. We need to see that God is working all things together for our benefit, but also for His glory.

A. To begin, we need to see that God is ultimately in control. Nebuchadnezzar the king of Babylon was richly blessed by God. He lived in a palace which God provided for him and he lived in peace. He ruled over a very large kingdom, but began to take credit for what God had blessed him with in spite of a God's warning. He went insane and was driven from his kingdom and lived as a wild man in the wilderness for seven long years. However, one day at the end of the seven years, he looked up and began to praise God. "And at the end of the days I Nebuchadnezzar lifted up mine eyes unto heaven, and mine understanding returned unto me, and I blessed the most High, and I praised and honoured him that liveth for ever, whose dominion is an everlasting dominion, and his kingdom is from generation to generation" (Daniel 4:34). When he did this God restored his mind, restored kingdom, and even increased his kingdom.

B. We should understand that we do not always see the big picture. "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts" (Isaiah 55:8-9). The reality is that God is God and we just don't always see all that He is doing or why He is doing what He is doing. However, we can pray and ask God to show us His ways. "Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not"  (Jeremiah 33:3). Look at what Isaiah said. "Thus saith the LORD, the Holy One of Israel, and his Maker, Ask me of things to come concerning my sons, and concerning the work of my hands command ye me"  (Isaiah 45:11). This is the only place in scripture where God asks us to make a command of Him.

C. We should STOP to recall all that God has already for us. David said, "He hath made his wonderful works to be remembered: the LORD is gracious and full of compassion" (Psalms 111:4). David also said, "I will remember the works of the LORD: surely I will remember thy wonders of old. I will meditate also of all thy work, and talk of thy doings" (Psalms 77:11-12). When losses come, we often forget all that God has done for us. For us get beyond the losses, we need to stop and remember the good things that God has already done for us.

D. Furthermore, we should come to trust that God is for us. Paul wrote, "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose"  (Romans 8:28). Joseph told his brothers after they had betrayed him and bound him up and sold him as a slave to a caravan traveling to Egypt, "But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive" (Genesis 50:20).

E. We need to humble ourselves and let go of what we see as our personal rights of what we may have loss. The way to do this is to humble ourselves and come to depend upon God to care for us. Jesus said, "Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven "  (Matthew 5:3). Again, Jesus said, "And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.  For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it. For what is a man advantaged, if he gain the whole world, and lose himself, or be cast away?"  (Luke 9:23-25). Peter said, "Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time:  Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you"  (I Peter 5:6-7).

F. We should learn to praise God in the midst of our painful circumstances. "By him therefore let us offer the sacrifice of praise to God continually, that is, the fruit of our lips giving thanks to his name" (Hebrews 13:15). A sacrifice of praise is understood as praise to God in the midst of the issues. Paul and Silas praised the Lord even when they had been beaten and put in prison with their hands and feet were in stocks. "And at midnight Paul and Silas prayed, and sang praises unto God: and the prisoners heard them" (Acts 16:25).

G. We should learn to be thankful for what God has done and is doing in our lives. "In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you" (I Thessalonians 5:18). Did you catch it? It is God's will to give thanks in everything. Yes, but not the circumstances, right? What does the scripture say? "Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ" (Ephesians 5:20).

H. We are also to find the joy of the Lord in the midst of the trials. "My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience" (James 1:2-3). The only way that I know to do this, is to believe that God is for us and working in the midst of the trials. The prophet Habakkuk wrote, "Although the fig tree shall not blossom, neither shall fruit be in the vines; the labour of the olive shall fail, and the fields shall yield no meat; the flock shall be cut off from the fold, and there shall be no herd in the stalls: Yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will joy in the God of my salvation" (Habakkuk 3:18). Paul wrote, "Rejoice evermore" (I Thessalonians 5:16).

I. We should seek God's healing grace for our painful loss. Jesus said, "The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised, To preach the acceptable year of the Lord" (Luke 4:19). Just recognizing that we have been hurt is not enough. We need to walk through receiving healing that comes only through Jesus. This comes through choosing to forgive those who have offended us, seeking forgiveness ourselves for holding on to unforgiveness and responding wrongly, finding freedom from the enemy, and then receiving God's healing grace.

J. We should begin to look beyond ourselves to see what God has set before us and get in on what God is doing. David declared, "Many, O LORD my God, are thy wonderful works which thou hast done, and thy thoughts which are to us-ward: they cannot be reckoned up in order unto thee: if I would declare and speak of them, they are more than can be numbered" (Psalms 40:5). Jeremiah recorded God's words as, "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end" (Jeremiah 29:11).

K. We should also to look to see who God has set before us that we may minister God's grace to them. "Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God" (II Corinthians 1:3-4). God did this with Naomi who ministered to Ruth, He did it with Job who prayed for his friends (Job 42:10), He did it with Elijah who ministered to Hazel, Jehu, and Elisha (I Kings 19:13-17), and He will do it with you.

Here is at least one of my experiences that has brought peace in the midst of losses. A number of years ago, not too many years after I got married and began to have children, I ordered and bought a brand new bright orange Mazda rotary engine car. When I stepped on the gas pedal, the RPM gauge flew upward toward 7,000 RPMs. There was a very rapid acceleration of the speed as well. I was quite proud of My new sports car.

Shortly after I purchased the car, my wife wanted to go to a community theater play and take our children. That night, I felt that God wanted me to stay home and study and pray, which I did. Of course, my wife took my new shinny car. That night, I had a strange spiritual visitation which came in the form of questions. This was somewhat the order of the questions. The first question was, "What if my wife wrecked my new car? Would that be OK?" Of course, I would not want that to take place, but I would survive it happened. "What if one of our daughters was hurt or possibly killed?" This of course, was a much, much more intense question. "Would that be OK?" I loved my daughters and would never want that to happen, but reluctantly, "Yes". "What if my wife was hurt or even killed? Would that be OK?" I deeply love my wife and it was even difficult to allow that thought into my mind.

There were a number of other questions also. We were renting a house for a nominal rent fee. "What if the house was burned down?" If that happened, we wouldn't have a place to live. I also would lose my treasured biblical library with books that I could never replace. "Would that be OK?" With each question, I had to answer that it would be OK although these would be losses of which I could never want to experience. "What if my health was taken away? Would that be OK?" Another question was, "What if for some reason, I would be put in prison and lose my freedom? Would that be OK?" I thought that I could survive, if I just had my Bible. Guess what the next question was? "What if my Bible was taken away? Would that be OK?" It was a hard night, but I had to come to the conclusion that if I lost everything, (my car, children, my children, my wife, my home, my library, my health, my freedom, and even my Bible) it would still be OK because I would still have a relationship with Jesus. Again, in one way, it was a difficult and soul searching night, but there, I found a deeper level of freedom and peace through the experience.

The reality is that my experience that night was a preparation, in some sense, for many additional losses that I have had and will experience in my life. I am also convinced that to the degree that by God's grace we respond correctly to the losses that we face is to the degree that we minister to others.

Paul had the pedigree of being Israelite born of the tribe of Benjamin, the education, the position, the prestige, but all of it was for him was worthless compared to knowing Christ Jesus. Paul wrote, "But what things were gain to me, those I counted loss for Christ. Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ" (Philippians 3:7-8).

One hard question is, "Is there some LOSS that we are still holding on to or have we released the LOSSES completely into God's hands. Have we actually cast all our cares upon God? Peter wrote, “Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour”  (I Peter 5:7- 8). When we cast all our cares upon God, then He becomes responsible to care for us. Amen.