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Often, addictions begin with a desire that we consider to be a personal need. Psychologists have played upon this idea. Some have suggested that most mental illnesses have come from an unfulfilled sexual need. Others have suggested that many disorders arise from a need to be successful. Today, the emphasis is on the need to have self-esteem. Solomon felt that he needed to be loved by many women (I Kings 11:1). That may have seemed good to Solomon. After all, God had said that it was not good that man should live alone, and God created woman for man.
We should begin by distinguishing between real needs and lustful desires. The devil tempted Eve in the Garden of Eden with a "desire" to have knowledge of good and evil. Eve did not "need" this knowledge. Solomon did not "need" the love of many women.
Often the devil approaches us as he did Eve. He suggests that God has deprived us of something that we really need. He may suggest that God has deprived you of a good income, so you take up gambling to win the lottery. He may suggest that God has deprived you of happiness, so you take up the use of drugs. He may suggest God has deprived you of excitement, so you take up thrill seeking. The devil may have suggested to Solomon that God had deprived him of love, so he sought the love of many women.
Whenever, the devil convinces us that God has deprived us of something that we need, we fall into a compromising situation. We look at the fool's gold and see that it is pretty, bright, and shinny. Then we grab for the fool's gold rather than waiting for the real thing. We should also note that the devil can even use legitimate "needs" to lead us astray. Eve looked at the fruit on the tree and saw that it was good for food. Then she ate it. Eve needed to eat, but God had provided other fruit for her to eat.
Furthermore, there is another catch! Even after one picks up a piece of fool's gold, he may think it is the real thing. It is heavy like real gold. Sin also carries with it "pleasure" for a season. We even may come to brag to others how great our find is. We may tell others how thrilling the ride is. However, it is interesting that when one handles fool's gold, he may get a black substance upon his hands. When we hold to the things of the world, we get contamination on our hands. Our conscience becomes darkened whenever we do that which we come to know to be wrong. That darkness doesn't really fade with time. Guilt may loom like a shadow over our lives until we ask forgiveness and make things right.
When guilt and shame become dominant in our lives, we have to seek greater compensations to cover the guilt and shame. It becomes a downward spiral. We need more and more alcohol, sex, success, or thrills. This is followed by greater guilt and shame. One addiction may also call for another addiction. A drug addiction may also invite an occult addiction. A music addiction may invite a sex addiction. Solomon's addiction to the love for many women led him to follow after other gods (Ashtoreth and Milcom) (I Kings 11:4-8).
Solomon not only loved many women, he "clave unto these in love" (I Kings 11:2). We should understand that whatever we hold to becomes an addiction. Another way to state this is to say, "Whatever we hold to, has a hold on us." We also have to justify our addiction. Normally, we do this by stating that we have certain rights. Solomon, no doubt thought, "I am the king and should have the right to have as many women as I want." He also probably thought, "No one has the right to tell me what to do or to take these women from me." You see, when we hold on to the fool's gold, we are also willing to defend and fight for it. It will seem difficult to humble ourselves to say, "I was wrong for what I held to is not the real thing." Pride usually causes us to deny the problems and causes us to hold on that much tighter.
However, Jesus stated that whatever we hold to, we end up losing (John 12:25). Why is this? God is a jealous god and will allow no idols before Him. Whatever we hold to, even if it is something good (a marriage, a job, or counseling ministry), is to God an idol. It becomes an idol because it has taken the place of God in our lives. Furthermore, Peter says "Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour: Whom resist steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world" (I Peter 5:7-9). We have a choice either to lay what we have held to (our care) before God and let go or face the roaring lion. If we are not willing to let go, God allows the devil to attack us in the area that we are holding tightly in our hands.
3. We must be willing to turn from the addiction. (Luke 9:23-25).