1. Punishment should not be an end in itself as often projected in our criminal justice system.  Parents are to be godly in their discipline.  God is a god of justice, but followed by mercy and grace, seeking to redeem people unto himself.   "And he prayed unto the LORD, and said, I pray thee, O LORD, was not this my saying, when I was yet in my country? Therefore I fled before unto Tarshish: for I knew that thou art a gracious God, and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness, and repentest thee of the evil" (Jonah 4:2).     Punishment with out a means of restoration is divisive.

2. The over all view should be of chastisement, or punishment with the end goal being correction.  "Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul" (Proverbs 29:17).   "Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying" (Proverbs 19:18).   "Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby" (Hebrews 12:11).

3. Punishment should be coupled with rewards for correct behavior.  The Word of God couples the two together.    "I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live" (Deuteronomy 30:19).  "And afterward he read all the words of the law, the blessings and cursings, according to all that is written in the book of the law" (Joshua 8:34).   However, it was interesting to note in my studies of psychology there was never mentioned a combination of reward and punishment.

4. The discipline should never be given out of anger.   "O LORD, rebuke me not in thy wrath: neither chasten me in thy hot displeasure" (Psalm 38:1).   When a parent disciplines a child in anger, he will go beyond what is suitable for the offense.  He will also provoke the child to anger.   "And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord" (Ephesians 6:4).

5. The correction should be executed with love.  God's purpose for discipline is for there to be a change of heart.  "And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse" (Malachi 4:6).

6. A rod (that is a small wooden dowel) should be used rather than the fist or hand slap.    "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him" (Proverbs 22:15).   "Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.   Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell" (Proverbs 23:13-14). Note: This is not to be an excuse for physical abuse (blue or black bruises).  "The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame" (Proverbs 29:15).

7. The consequences for wrong behavior should be explained to and understood by the child before he disobeys.  "And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up" (Deuteronomy 6:7).    This way the child knows what is expected of him.  The parent also does not have to make a rash decision about the consequences of disobedience.  All the parent has to do is to execute what has already been established.  A written chart or posted daily check sheet is much more effective than verbal commands, especially for smaller children.  Graphics may be used in place of words for the younger children who can not read. "A prudent man foreseeth the evil, and hideth himself: but the simple pass on, and are punished" (Proverbs 22:3).

8. The punishment should be executed as soon as possible after the act of disobedience. This attaches the "act of disobedience" with the punishment.  Parents who threaten to punish there children, but never do lead children into distrust.  How can the children trust their parents to reward them or keep their word when they are obedient, if the parents don't keep their word in punishing when the children are disobedient?    Furthermore, when children can't trust their parents (authorities), it is also difficult for them to trust God (the supreme authority).  Eli, the priest, in Scripture (I Samuel 2:1-4:22) failed to punish his two sons and the consequences were: (1) Israel lost the Ark of the Covenant, (2) Israel lost the battle with the enemy, (3) Eli lost the lives of his two sons, and (4) Eli also died.

9. The discipline should not be delegated to the other parent. This will leave an opportunity for the child to favor one parent over the other and also to play one parent against the other.  This often promotes contention throughout the whole family.

10. Once the consequences are executed, the wrong act should not be continually held over the head of the child.  Holding the offense against the child will cause the child to believe that he can never please his parents (or anyone else in authority, even God). "Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged" (Colossians 3:21).

11. Accidents, such as tipping over a glass of milk should not be treated as wrong behavior.  If they were doing something they should not have been doing at the time of the accident, then punishment them for their wrong, not for the accident.

12. The punishment should fit the wrong behavior.  Age and delegated responsibility should also be apart of the consideration.  Here is the principle:  "But he that knew not, and did commit things worthy of stripes, shall be beaten with few stripes. For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required: and to whom men have committed much, of him they will ask the more" (Luke 12:48).